Okay, so my last entry, I was talking about my computer problems. To make a longer story short, yeah, it failed on me...
BUT through help from my family, I was able to get a new one, and it's really pretty great, at least by my standards (if you guys ever read this, I know I've said it a few times already, but thanks again so much).
Sometime after that though, there was some crazy-ass nutty stuff that went on that prompted me to leave my apartment place, and find a new place, pronto.
Thankfully, I got the hell out. I'm in a new spot. It's better than the last place, but that's not saying a ton, I suppose. Consider that in the new place that not being able to breathe properly
seems like it's not really a big deal, and you might start to get a small sense of just how relieved I am to have moved. The new place is far from perfect, yeah, but at least it's not the previous place, and that's all that matters for now. Sooner or later, hopefully I'll have built up a bit more energy again to move on to someplace better than this too. Until then, hopefully this will do, and without driving me completely insane.
While that all may not seem like much (and really, in a lot of ways for normal people, it wouldn't be), that very much is the short version, and it's been really stressful for me, and that has been taking its toll on me. I don't really like disappearing every so often, and I now there's people that would rather I didn't, but sometimes I'm just not sure how else to deal with life I guess, than to take breaks, and rest up for later.
So for the few people that may read this (since I get at least a few people looking at my dA page a day still, apparently; thanks), I am indeed still alive, and for any of you that my have been concerned in any sort of way, thanks. I'm doing alright. While (as you may have guessed) I've barely done anything art-wise in the past I don't even know how long anymore, hopefully I'll find the time for it again sometime soon. I know that inspiration's been sort of at the door, kicking and screaming while life's been a complete mess, so maybe it'll beat something out of me, and it'll fall onto these pages eventually. I hope it's sooner than later, since it very honestly, sincerely, and without word of metaphor or exaggeration, literally hurts me not to be making at least SOMEthing. It's one of those things I don't much talk about, but it's one the reasons that I produce artstuff the way I do sometimes: fast and rough, so I can do it all over again right afterwards. Sometimes I burn the fuck out for all kinds of reasons, and fall off the face of the planet, and for those that care about me, and who I care about most dearly, whether I have a "valid excuse" or doctor's note or whatever isn't the point, and for whatever it's worth, I'm deeply sorry when I do, especially when it's sudden and without warning. I think it's a matter of things spinning out of control in a way that I have a hard time seeing while it's happening, until it's getting too late, and everything's just falling apart to the point of my not really knowing how to handle it.
I know I'm a mess. What to do about it all though is something I haven't really figured out at all yet. I dunno, maybe I never really will. For the people infinity kind enough to put up with me through all of it any phase of these cycles, and that are there afterward for the next one though, I can never truly thank you enough.
And for what it's worth, I seem to be a bit better at saying things every now and the on twitter, a bit more than most anywhere else for the time being, so on the off chance that you do ever wonder what's been on my mind (or, little morsels of it, here and there) on a more regular basis, that may be the place to look. I'm not saying that it's any good, or even that it's not a lot of me just complaining (sorry if I do too much of that for you already!
) and I still intend to post images here, so yeah, keep that in mind. I do also try to keep my "following" count manageable (HA!) at a nice, round number of 255, lest the universe go all fiddle-faddle like it would when we'd hack games on the Commodore 64... So please don't be insulted if I don't follow you back. ozwalled
But for now, it's bed. It took me longer than expected to write all this up, and I need some sleepsesesses. You all take care of yourselves. <3